‘You can outrun the lion that is chasing you,
but you cannot outrun the lion in your head’. African Proverb.
Grief and Trauma
Sexual abuse, trauma, and grief deserve skilled and respectful counselling. Tragedies strike without warning. I understand that life is unfair. Having worked in hospitals it is not hard to come to that conclusion. Some individuals, some families, seem to endure more than what is tolerable. It is inspiring to me how courageous and strong people can be under duress.
However, such experiences can have lingering effects. The trauma of abuse, the death of a loved one, or other significant events that disrupt our lives, can leave indelible prints on our brains. We may find ourselves reacting to situations and events in ways that are not helpful. It may feel difficult to get back to ‘normal’, to turn our attention to daily activities, to have energy and vitality again, to nurture our current relationships, or feel a sense of joy.
Worried or Sad?
Chronic illness, terminal illness, migration, relationship issues, workplace stress, loneliness, our upbringing and issues around sexuality can all lead to depression – and a host of other reasons. Life is full of ups and downs.
It is normal to experience a range of emotions, to have doubts, to feel sad, frustrated, angry, worried or despairing. But when our low mood reaches a point where we are avoiding family and friends, having trouble getting things done, not engaging in the activities that we usually find enjoyable, not feeling motivated to get out of bed and/or get out of the house, and having difficulty concentrating, we may be clinically depressed. It may be time to seek help.
I work with heterosexual and same sex couples on issues such as arguments, poor communication, losing the ‘spark’, affairs, jealousy, and the impact of illness or stress from work.
With good, solid relationships in our lives, we can better deal with life’s challenges. But, invariably, we experience difficulty or stress in our relationships with others. This is normal, and rather than dwelling on the conflict, it is more constructive to develop new ways of relating to each other. Relationship counselling is an effective therapy for creating meaningful change.